Handsome Devil

His eyes, they could blind me with their light. I have never seen eyes so blue, so crisp, like the sky on a warm summer day. They speak to me, with intellect. They share with me, the stories about the man they are acquainted to. When my doubts are strong, and my fear is ever-present they speak to me; making sure I understand that I will be safe, loved, and cared for. They are kind eyes- understanding. And the man behind them makes this possible. Yes, I am in love. Forevermore. I am exactly where I want to be. I am happy, I am safe, and I am positive.

Seasick, Yet Still Docked

I know this is conquerable. I am in control, and I have the strength and confidence to move forward.

“The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one's self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.”

Michelangelo

Golden Lights

He is an exceptional man. With lightening blue eyes that pierce straight into my soul; making new discoveries with every blink. I see a beautiful life in those eyes; if I could only dive inside and become a part of it.

Softly exhibiting patience, he acknowledges my flaws, and is entirely accepting. His heart is golden, working overtime to bestow complete adoration. As do I. I wish to furnish his heart with every last one of his wants and needs. I am for him.

I long to be in his arms; safe and secure. Our bodies entwined, I synchronize my breath with his, and rhythmically align my chest to rise and fall as one. As we lay in slumber, we are but one solitary unit. And this simple moment is all I'll ever need to feel a sense of home.

I love you. Forever and always.

Nowhere Fast

frustration.

What Difference Does it Make?

    I know it shouldn't upset me. Because people have their own troubles, and what I need to discover has to be done by me. Individually; independently. Although I feel I need people in my life so much closer, I first need to become more personal with myself- by myself. On my own terms. It is very difficult- entirely too difficult, but I am trying. 

    I promise I'm trying. I know I have no justification to want empathy, but I'm working on getting past that. 

In the Future When All's Well

The summer has provided me with an entirely new discovery of life. Laying in the grass on a mildly cool day - the breeze caresses its hand against your skin; while wisps of hair gently brush across your face; and the sun sneaks its way through the swaying branches, reaching towards the ground below. Sit back and recognize the beauty around you, for it gives an undeniable sense of appreciation for your own being. To coexist in a world full of love and pleasantries is entirely satisfying.

The road leads where it's led, and wether by chance or not, my path has led me to a wonderful man with the best of intentions. He really is my silver lining :)

Girl Afraid

    I am fully aware of my own presence, and am finally content. Understanding recovery is a process and not a distinct goal has developed patience into a virtue. Avoid the rush, and take time to enjoy the beauty of life. I am quite happy with myself, and am pleased to have realized this.  

   I have friends in all of the right places, and I am looking forward to the possibility of new love and relationships. 

Oscillate Wildly

    Why do people choose to feel this way? And what exactly is this feeling? I can't say, but its quite discomforting. It didn't start as a choice, and it's still uncertain to me whether I've chosen this for myself or not. 

    Disassociating is an intense and wonderful experience that satisfies to the core. Is it worth losing a chance for happiness just for a temporary emotional reward? 

    I'm desperate for answers.

These Things Take Time

    I never thought life would be this complex, so full of uncertainties and contradictions. Simplicity has proved itself unattainable, and my attempts are completely futile.

     I'm not sure why I've always put the idea of love on such a high pedestal, but it's always pleased me. It's something I wish for myself; to experience and commit to someone so much like myself. It's horribly painful to have that connection with a man, and have it ripped away from you. An apology will not be accepted, for I've done nothing wrong. And distance only makes it harder, and I want more than anything for him to realize this.