Oscillate Wildly

    Why do people choose to feel this way? And what exactly is this feeling? I can't say, but its quite discomforting. It didn't start as a choice, and it's still uncertain to me whether I've chosen this for myself or not. 

    Disassociating is an intense and wonderful experience that satisfies to the core. Is it worth losing a chance for happiness just for a temporary emotional reward? 

    I'm desperate for answers.

These Things Take Time

    I never thought life would be this complex, so full of uncertainties and contradictions. Simplicity has proved itself unattainable, and my attempts are completely futile.

     I'm not sure why I've always put the idea of love on such a high pedestal, but it's always pleased me. It's something I wish for myself; to experience and commit to someone so much like myself. It's horribly painful to have that connection with a man, and have it ripped away from you. An apology will not be accepted, for I've done nothing wrong. And distance only makes it harder, and I want more than anything for him to realize this.