I need to stop letting my fears get in the way of our relationship. I can't let it slip by while I'm too busy worrying about myself. We are perfect together, and I need to let go and simply enjoy my time with him. He deserves so much more than I am giving him right now- he needs a more confident, self- assured woman. I can be that woman for him, I just need to try harder. And I will because for him I would do anything.

This weekend will serve as another point of relaxation for him. It pains me to see him so stressed when it's completely undeserved. He tries harder than any man I've ever met, and he fully deserves everything great this world has to offer. I want to see him smile more, to feel his muscles lose their tension, to keep up that positive spirit that I love.
With beautiful weather, and beautiful scenery we are sure to have a splendid time, but it always ends too quickly. But we will savor our time together while we can.
On another note, I finally finished my beloved Atlas Shrugged. I am so in awe of Ayn Rand and completely agree with her idea of objectivism. In our modern age her philosophy may be flawed, but one idea is certain, a man should live only for himself, and for his individual rights. I wholeheartedly agree that a man should maintain his integrity, and that alone. Shrugged is a beautifully written novel, full of romance and despair, heartache and success. It inspires me to live for my personal convictions and act as an individual. This is particularly important for a young artist to understand. Produce work for yourself, not for collective society, and you will succeed in your own right.
Now I am re-reading and finishing Vanity Fair. I love the language of William Makepeace Thackeray. Life has been treating me so well, that I haven't needed to hide in a book. But I do miss my daily reading.

 A beautiful song. Perfect when falling asleep.

    A much needed weekend lies ahead, and even though I'm working a morning shift my boyfriend will have plenty of time to spend with me. I like when he finally gets to relax, and isn't so tired out and stressed about work and the new loft.
    Our weekends are always pleasant together because we aren't rushed, we aren't worried about the pressures of life, at least for the little while we're together. It really does wonders for our spirits, to simply lay together and feel the closeness of our bodies.
    I am so looking forward to this weekend especially. I need to de-stress after this long week, and set aside my fears of new medication and a broken car while I can. I know being with him will do the trick!