William, It Was Really Nothing

In the past few days, as it seems, I have been sinking further into my depression. On most days, I can push it aside, but it has slowly been encompassing my entirety. I know it is silly- I should be happy for I have everything in my life that I have ever hoped for. But this feeling is more directed to my overwhelming fears and guilt. I feel that I have not been performing sufficently as a daughter, girlfriend, or student. I spin everything into a negative in my head, and I would rather sleep that sit and decide how to fix myself. I know that this will pass, but I cannot help sitting here thinking of all the ways I could change myself to become a better person. I despise letting people down, more than I care to make myself happy. Jim has been the one to deal with this lately, and although I am happy that he is patient and loving with me I feel horrible. He helps me in ways no one else ever could, and I love him for simply listening. I hope that this break between semesters will bring us closer instead of directing us apart. And I wish for this this feeling to pass soon so I can make the most of our holiday together.