Designer's have this undeniable camaraderie that you can't quite put your finger on, but you know it's there. We all know it's there. The tension seeps for the pores of undeserving girls in the room, and makes it hard to breathe. I understand this natural order, but I long to have my respectable position back. I was once intimidating and overly confident, but now I find myself as the minority. The girl by herself, in the corner of the room, awkwardly texting because she knows no one wants to make nice with her.
After my leave of absence I'm sure there was plenty of talk, and now the stares in the room weigh down on me. I don't know how much longer I can stand the silence or how I will keep myself from breaking in front of the people I need to conquer. These girls with their silly talk and incapability to produce real art only makes me stronger. I find myself feeling the need to prove myself to this group of women, only to hypocritically decide that I don't give a damn what they think.
The truth is, who really wants to be at the brunt of everyone's jokes? Who wants to stand out in the crowd like a sore thumb? And of course it isn't like I haven't tried to be friendly, but with no embrace why should I begin to care? Those girls are anything but my friends, they are my competition. I only need them to strengthen my skills, to show that I really am good at what I do. Bitches.
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