Glamorous Glue

     The past weekend marked my first full year of recovery, and although it brought back some terribly horrific memories, it turned out to be beautiful. Although I can't say I didn't sit in my lover's arms and cry on the kitchen floor until my eyes were swollen and I could barely breath, to have someone so willing to comfort me in such a way was truly spectacular. Especially since at this particular time last year, my heart had not only been through the paper shredder once, but twice.
    I am still coming to terms with the idea that I ruined my family dynamic, that not many people in my life will ever truly understand the daily battles I have within myself everyday, and the fact that my body will never look quite like it did seven years ago. But I am a lot further along in the healing process than I ever thought I would be, and for that I am truly grateful.
    There are certainly two individuals in my life whom I can never fully thank for helping me get to this point; my dear kate and my boyfriend jim.
    Kate was a witness to some of the worst moments of my life, but never judged me. Instead, she became one of the most loyal friends I have, and has never denied me her time. She is someone I confide in when I don't know where else to turn because I believe she truly understands where I am coming from. Spending time with her gives me a chance to live again, to stop worrying about all of the problems in my life and just have fun.  I am blessed for having her in my life, and hope that we will remain friends when she graduates in the upcoming month.
    Although Jim was not present at the time of my unfortunate withdrawal from school, he is so supportive of my ongoing recovery, and gives me a hand when I feel I may fall. He sees my scars as something beautiful, and has challenged me to do the same. It is so much more than a relief that not only did I not scare him away, but rather, brought him closer to me. He says that I am the strongest woman he knows, and that he's never been so lucky. And I laugh at this, but am so grateful that he appreciates me for all that I am.
   So thank you both, for helping me discover myself, even if the process has been quite slow and tedious. I love you both with all my heart.